INTRODUCTION
Childhood fears are common and normal, but they can be difficult for children to overcome on their own. As a parent or caregiver, it can be challenging to see your child struggle with anxiety or fear. However, through our own experience, we have learnt that there are some effective methods to help your child rewire anxious thoughts and train their brain by using some simple and effective tools to overcome their fears.
Let’s take learning to swim as one example. It is a fun, exciting and essential life skill for a child to master. However, for our daughter and undoubtedly some other children, the thought of being in the water can be terrifying. Overcoming a fear of swimming can be a challenging task, but it is possible with the right methods and techniques. Our daughter had been dreading the classes, even refused to hand in the enrolment form to her teacher and was showing some real anxieties before school each swimming day.
We discussed these difficulties with her school and by using a variety of the below activities, she was in a much better place where she was comfortable to go along and give it a try.
REWIRING ANXIOUS THOUGHTS
To assist your child in overcoming their fears, the first step is to identify the anxious thoughts that are causing the fear. In our daughter’s case, she was anxious about the thought of sinking, and not being able to touch the ground or swim to safety.
Her teacher engaged her in an activity to reframe these anxious thoughts and encouraged her to think positively while focusing on the facts. This helped her shift her focus from her fears to her capabilities.
They sat together and wrote a list, starting with a fun title “Wet & Wild Wednesdays!”. The list included all the things she could do, including “I can get into the water,” “I can put my shoulders in,” and “I can blow bubbles”. They also added “the noodle helps me float” to reinforce a sense of safety.
To take her to the next level and encourage her to take the next step, they discussed something that she could work on, something that she couldn’t do ‘YET’. This one word showed her that while she may not be able to do something, nothing is impossible and was something that can be learned over time.
Our daughter brought this list home and with a little bit of creative time together, it became something she wanted to put up on her wall for her to work on. Each morning, especially on a swimming day, she would read the list out loud to remind herself of what she can do rather than focusing on what she can’t.
We’ve found that through this, positive wall art can be an effective tool in helping your child reframe their thoughts and overcome their fears. Bright, cheerful wall decor with encouraging phrases or affirmations can serve as a visual reminder of the positive things your child can do. It can be a source of motivation and optimism, especially on days when your child is feeling particularly anxious.
USING THE CHALLENGE ZONE DIAGRAM
Our daughter’s school have been brilliant and has now, following inspiration from Di Pardoe, introduced something that is known as Purple Learners. It focuses on encouraging children to think about how well they are challenged in their learning and to accept that a little bit of a struggle is great, and a necessary place for them to learn.
With this theory, it encourages children to learn that once they can get past a slight struggle and resistance, they will enjoy a sense of achievement and accomplishment when they have succeeded at a task that required hard work, perseverance, and effort. They believe that having a positive and ever-growing mindset towards learning is vital.
As part of the theory, the challenge zone diagram is used. It provides a useful, visual tool that can assist children in overcoming their fears. By using the diagram, you can help children identify where they feel comfortable, challenged, or overwhelmed. You can download the diagram for free here.
For instance, in the case of our daughter’s fear of swimming, the school used the challenge zone diagram to identify where she felt most at ease and where she felt so panicked which stopped her from being willing to go to the lessons.
Through this, it identified the areas she feared and how she could move from a mindset of absolute fear to a place where she was willing to go.
With some help, she gradually got herself to a place of calm, where she felt comfortable about going with school. They then were able to expose her to different activities in the pool using aids like noodles or floats and helped her move from her comfort zone to her learning zone.
Over the weekend, we also visited the same pool that our daughter went with school, and we tried to work through the areas that were identified. We realised, that as soon as we asked her to remove the water aids and swim or lift her feet from the ground, she panicked and entered the danger zone, where she was unable to focus or feel safe. With some reminders and gentle persuasion, she pushed through her comfort zone and ended up trying several activities without the aids but knowing that we were right beside her to help if she needed it.
By using the challenge zone diagram, we all learnt where she was on the scale, and it helped us to gradually work towards moving her back into her learning zone.
MAKING IT FUN
It’s important to make the process of overcoming fears fun and enjoyable for your child. This can be done by incorporating games and activities that your child enjoys, and by providing positive reinforcement for their efforts.
In our case, we all learnt that transforming these activities into imaginative and creative experiences for our daughter, actively helped us to take her swimming in school and over the weekends.
With us taking her to the pool on weekends, she then could start to associate swimming with pleasure. She learned that swimming can be a source of enjoyment and safety and we made sure to use a generous amount of positive feedback and rewards to encourage her progress.
IN CONCLUSION
In conclusion, helping your child overcome their fears can be challenging, but it’s important to remember that fears can be overcome with the right techniques and methods. By rewiring anxious thoughts, training the brain, and using tools like the challenge zone diagram, you can help your child build their confidence and overcome their fears. Also, by learning and mastering these skills as a child, they learn that challenge is a necessary part of learning and that if they are faced with challenges in the future, then with these skills they can overcome anything they encounter.
Moreover, incorporating positive affirmations, possibly in the form of artwork around the home, can also be a helpful tool in assisting your child with overcoming their fears.
Positive affirmations and wall art can serve as a constant reminder to your child that they can overcome their fears and achieve their goals. This can help them develop a more positive mindset, which can lead to increased motivation, self-esteem, and overall well-being. If you are stuck for ideas there are plenty of motivational posters on our Etsy Shop, or if you sign up for our newsletter below, you’ll receive a free set of A6 affirmations that you can print at home.
Remember to make the process fun and enjoyable, and to provide positive reinforcement for your child’s efforts. With your support and guidance, your child can become a more confident and resilient individual.
